My "little": Please be forewarned of the picture explosion in this post.

Going to Africa for two years is causing me to part with many people I love.

One of those people is Diamond.

Diamond is my little sister for the Big Brother Big Sister program.

BBBS is a mentoring program for children who typically come from single parent homes.

The focus is on building positive one-on-one relationships between child and adult.

There are awesome statistics about kids in BBBS.

Children in the program were: 
46% less likely to begin using illegal drugs
27% less likely to begin using alcohol
52% less likely to skip school
37% less likely to skip class 

All that comes from an adult giving up only 1-2 hours per week of their time to hang out with a kid.

Diamond and I have been matched together for a little over a year now.

I typically see her once a week.

We go on a ton of fun outings, some last almost a whole day.

In the past year I have loved getting to know Diamond.

Diamond is a very sassy, sweet, kind, polite, funny, and smart 9 year old girl.

She comes from not the best background and is now being raised by her grandmother.

In the past couple of months Diamond has had some issues with behavior.

It breaks my heart to see this. 

I constantly fear the worst.

That she could be heading down a not so good path.

I am very stern with Diamond about her behavior.

One week we had to miss going to the movies and instead went grocery shopping.

Of course on that trip a woman approached us and asked if she was having fun.

Diamond just looked at her.

I had to hold back my laughter.

I am torn at times with what is right to do with Diamond.

Should I take away all of the fun experiences that she would normally not get?

Or give her the unconditional love, special trips, and praise every child so desperately needs.

I have decided with my leaving date coming so soon to go with the love and special things.

I have recently been talking to Diamond about her dreams later in life.

The other day she said she wants to be a ballerina, actress, and a "milla, milla, what's that thing called?"

I said, "Millionaire?"

She said, "Yep that is it!"

Of course I gave my two cents as to why money can be not a good thing,

it is so much more important to have a job that we love and are passionate about.

Sometimes I am not sure if what I says sinks in or not, I am hopeful.

We have had multiple discussions about race, religion, homosexuality, and discrimination.

During one of these discussions where I was preaching kindness even if the belief is not shared 

(she is from a very strong Christian background),

I could tell she wanted to say something, so I stopped.

Diamond told me, "I know that Ib stands for pounds."

I said, "Actually that is a lowercase l and it is lb."

I guess sometimes you just have to keep trying and not push it too hard. 

I did have a moment where I saw that I had opened her eyes to something.

She told me that in her MLK Jr. assignment her dream was to help poor people,

she said that it is important because some people are not as lucky as we are.

That is when I knew that she has been listening.

Children are like sponges, they absorb everything around them.

I know a lot of places in Diamond's life that is not a good thing.

I try everyday when she is with me to fill that little sponge up with dreams, hopes, and confidence.

When I finally told Diamond about my leaving she was pretty upset.

She said when I go she will just cry and cry.

It is so hard to know that I will be hurting her in this way.

I do not want to be one more person that has walked out of her life.

We are working on the transition to a new big sister.
I am hoping for an amazing one!

I am hopeful Diamond will be apart of my life forever.

I mean somebody is going to have to kick her ass if she does start heading in the wrong direction.

If you have ever thought about doing something worthwhile, this is it!

The impact that can be made in a child's life just through your time is amazing.

So go out and get a little person to hang out with!

  

My emotion for this moment: Excitement!

So as you can imagine I have been on a huge emotional roller coaster.

Some days I cry for almost no reason.

Other days I start to panic and think what the hell am I doing?

And a lot of days like today I am so excited I can hardly stand it.

I skyped with the program volunteer manager the other morning.

It was so nice to talk to her she made me feel better about a lot of things.

It was also a bit overwhelming! 

She has put me in touch with a former volunteer nurse who is returning this year also.

I was able to ask a lot of questions and get some good answers. 

Yes, lots of children are very sick and there is nothing we can do.

The clinics and hospitals basically have no supplies or resources.

People go to a witch doctor first which creates further problems such as infection.

She said the pediatric ward of the hospital is the scariest place to be,

children are so ill and nobody knows how to care for them.

As devastating as this all is, I am excited for many reasons.

 There is potential for so much change.

So many opportunities to care and love people.

Opportunities for education.

 I am also excited because I have been stalking former volunteers on facebook.

Oh hey your two albums of 350 pictures each are public?

I will just sit here and look at all 700 pictures.

I am an excellent stalker and have found many albums!

Yeah if your shit is public I will find it.

All jokes aside these people look like so much fun.

I think RIPPLE is an awesome organization and that is why they attract such interesting and fun people.

It is comforting to know that I will be part of this community.

I would love to put links to these albums I have found,

but I think that could be a little creepy.

Instead I will just show some pictures from RIPPLE's website.

 This is where I will be living. Not too bad huh?

Stocked fridge, I think I can learn to trade in my rum for gin.

Monkeys that are at the beach. I do not like monkeys, sure they are cute but they can stay away!

I think I can wake up to this view every morning.

In my preschool class a daily dance-time will be required.

I cannot wait to see little faces like this everyday. 

And to teach in classrooms like this.

They just look bad don't they?

My heart can almost not even handle this picture.

  

Now that's a big class!

Weighing babies at the 5 and under clinic where I will be spending some of my time.

Sick baby, I feel so called to be there.

A volunteer doing some wound care. It is a good thing it is my favorite because there are a lot of wounds!

I just thought it was appropriate for one more picture that makes my heart want to explode.

Thanks for checking in!

Just a couple of more months!

Fundraising, it sucks.

So in order to actually be able to eat the next two years, 

I have had to do the most horrific thing,

ask for help.

I hate this more than anyone will ever know.

I would rather work every single day,

before someone digs into their pocket to help me out.

I am independent and a workaholic.

I believe one of my first phrases was;

"N-O! NO! I will do it myself!"

Yes, I am still this stubborn.

I have had to learn that it is ok to ask for help.

It is even more ok to take the help when others offer. 

I have created a website and sent out cards.

Both of those things took me way to long to do because I was avoiding the inevitable.

I have already been overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity of those around me.

Today a coworker told me her children learned what I am doing,

they are determined to help and want to do a lemonade stand to raise money!

I have patient's families that want to help me and some that have.

My coworkers have provided so much support both financially and emotionally.

And I am finding new cards with checks in the mail frequently.

Every single time I am humbled.

I cannot imagine being a position where I am forced to rely on others everyday.

I often hear so many negative things about people on government assistance.

I think it is important that we never judge, 

one day we may be forced to rely on others when we are in a tough spot.

It is not a good feeling,

trust me!

I want to thank all of my sponsors again!

It means so much to me that you believe in me enough to support me.

If anyone would like to help me out you can check out my website at the link below!

http://www.acharityproject.com/f/PediatricNurse

Sorry for the boring post with no pictures.

I contemplated putting pics of dolla signs everywhere.

 

What do you mean I should start a blog?

I have been asked by pretty much everyone if I will be blogging while in Africa.
Apparently the answer is yes!
I will be sharing stories and lessons I am learning along the way.
Please beware of my sarcasm and the fact that this is not a traditional volunteer blog.
Those always bore me, even I cannot read them!

I guess I should take a moment to back up for those of you who do not know what I am talking about.

I have had this desire to head to Africa for as long as I can remember.

This is a letter from my high school guidance counselor.

In college I went on three mission trips and fell in love.

So last January I made the decision to finally do something about this desire.

After about three months of searching I found the perfect organization; RIPPLE Africa.

They have absolutely everything I want.

A sense of belonging to a community,

caring for all aspects of the community,

not providing hand-outs instead providing the tools for the community to help itself,

beautiful scenery,

and a fully stocked bar.

Getting ready to leave for two years is quite the process.

Doctor's appointments, immunizations, finding somewhere for the wieners to go, and figuring out finances.

It can all be very stressful.

I many days cannot wrap my head around the fact that I will be leaving for two years.

I know that this is what I need to be doing, there is no better time to make it happen.

Things I am looking forward to;

no time clock, I will work when needed and not have to leave at a certain time,

less rules, more autonomy, and decision making,

working with people in extreme need,

meeting new people,

living without the material things that take over our lives,

and doing something a little crazy!

Things I am afraid of;

leaving my dogs, this one is killing me!!!

leaving the awesome support group of my family, friends, and coworkers,

the food (I am the pickiest eater in the world),

not knowing how to help,

running into financial issues,

and apparently snakes (I am constantly having dreams about them in Africa).

I am just going through the motions right now.

I cannot think too much about leaving for two years, it overwhelms me.

Do not get me wrong I am very excited and will be doing this "wholeheartedly" (hence the blog name.)

Thanks for stopping by!

I will be keeping in touch.

Only a short 72 days until I am headed for Malawi!