Lessons Learned

I have been meaning to write this post for awhile now.

In the last few weeks I have been amazed by people.

Their compassion, kindness, and generosity.

I have also had my strength tested and heartbroken. 

In every situation I have been picked up by somebody.

The first and one of the hardest lessons I learned is that my heart is fragile.

I have always put up a tough exterior and when it comes to people

I can just let things go because I know that they have hurt me and they are generally not worth my sadness.

So I move on.

Having to put Douglas to sleep was the most difficult thing I have done so far in my life.

Pets love us so unconditionally, my dog would never do anything to hurt me.

All he wanted was my love and affection.

Because of his pure intentions and unconditional love, I hurt so badly to see him hurt.

I never knew that I could be so sad. 

Another thing I have learned is that nobody will ever love me more than my father does.

I have the best dad ever. 

He unlike many dads has been so involved in my life, and he has been a single dad for almost ten years now.

I called him no less than ten times the night I had to put Douglas to sleep.

I really felt his love for me when he started crying because I was sobbing so hard. 

My dad did not even like Douglas, he in fact was bitten by Doug once.

They did not exactly see eye to eye.

He supported me so much that day, just as he does everyday.

Even when he does not agree with my decisions (Africa for example).

Another lesson I learned was what love really is.

Loving something means putting every feeling you have aside and solely thinking of another's feelings and best needs. 

If I did not love Douglas I could not have done what I did.

When I told my dad I couldn't do it, he said I had to do it for my friend, he needed me.

Loving something so much is scary.

I am not much of a feelings type of person, I tend to have walls.

That dog broke right through them.

The final lesson I have learned is that people are amazing.

I think that we far too often hear about all of the bad people in this world. 

I have always believed the good far outweighs the bad.

And I have been proven right a billion times.

I have had friends constantly checking on me to see if I need anything.

I have amazing coworkers that understood and sympathized for me

(even the animal haters).

Examples:

A friend was kind enough to bring me food and wine then drive me to the vet that night.

She held me as I sobbed and took care of Rosie when Douglas needed me.

Another friend brought more food and sat with me after I got home.

The next day a friend invited me and Rosie over and bought me lunch.

My roommate gave me flowers and a card (she is also not a dog lover).

My coworkers all gave many hugs, some even cried with me, and bought me food.

I have been so over whelmed by all of this.

He was just a dog, but to me he was so much more.

And people understand and show compassion.

My vet staff was also amazing through this whole experience.

They are such kind and sympathetic people. 

My vet personally sent me a sympathy card, which meant so much to me.

And today I got home and he personally made a donation to the 

Pet Tribute at the College of Veterinary Medicine at KSU.

Douglas and my name are recorded in a memorial book at the library and the gift goes on to help other animals.

I have a feeling they do not do this for everyone.

Through all of this I am doing so much better.

I am glad that Douglas is no longer hurting and I know he had a great life.

Like my dad said, "It is shocking that little shit lasted so long, he should have been dead the day he was running under a dump truck trying to bite the wheels."

Yeah he was a very bad dog.

Rosie has also been helping me cope.

She is the best little dog, she has stayed right by my side.

I am currently contemplating sneaking her into my carry on.

I'm not sure a life of no AC is really her style though.

A huge thanks to everyone that has been there for me!

I love you all and could not have made it without you!