Tonight I did just that with about 40 teenagers. I went in with a message I planned on getting across and that is it. I did not have a lesson plan, or many notes, I just wanted to talk. I realized I have never talked to teenagers about sex before, I also knew that I had a group with a variety of ages, and I had girls and boys mixed. I figured this was all a recipe for disaster. Well instead it went perfectly. My main statement ended up being this; do not be afraid of knowing you have HIV, be afraid of not knowing that you have HIV.
I started the lesson with some questions, what is HIV? How do you transmit HIV? Like I figured the children knew the answers, they are taught abstinence is best, use condoms, blah, blah, blah. Yes this is an important message, I just do not feel it is a realistic one. People are also taught to be afraid of getting HIV, if you have sex you will get pregnant and die!! Hello, Mean Girls. That obviously did not work, those girls were sluts. I believe this mentally of teaching has made people fear HIV so much that they are in denial that HIV is present in their communities. Also people and even teenagers are going to have sex. So I think it is about time we get over it and stop yelling at them to not have sex. It is not working.
So as I have said in my last blog, being aware of HIV and being on ARVs is the key. If people here are tested and their CD4 counts are monitored and managed, the transmission rate will reduce significantly, even when condoms are not being used. Also people will have a normal life expectancy and have a perfectly normal and healthy life. The problem is they are taught to be ashamed of HIV, you have it and it passes like wildfire, and then you will die a horrible death of AIDS. This has made people live carelessly I believe, they either are in denial or they think they will die anyway, so what is the point? I asked how many of the teens had been tested for HIV. It was about 10%. I told them I feared this was the same with the adults in the communities. I kept reinforcing that being tested and having early management is the key. I am hoping this message got through!
I did also ask what are cultural beliefs regarding sex. Of course the answers were horrible, but I was not shocked in anyway. One boy said the elders tell boys that their is "dust" inside of their bodies that they only get rid of through having a lot of sex. Then there is the belief that when you marry a man you must let him have sex with your younger sister as his prize. Also I have learned that teenage prostitution is a huge issue in this community. Many girls are struggling to eat, so they are having sex for cash (of course I have ideas to work on fixing this.More to come later.). I have learned they are even having sex with their own family members. After knowing all of this the pastor stands up to say sex outside of marriage is sin, so do not do it. This made me very angry. You think it is ok for men to have multiple wives and quite frankly screw everything that moves, yet know you are saying just don't do it. How about instead we talk about respect in a sexual relationship and girls taking charge of their own bodies and health, and boys respecting the girls they have sex with? I am happy that the pastor wants to talk about HIV in his churches, but we are first going to have to talk about how it is not something to be shamed and I want him to encourage people to find out their status. Then say whatever you want about sins, I don't care.
I also think the more we make people feel ashamed of sex, the less they will talk. I want openness! I think the more questions they ask the better. It is a good thing I have this policy because I thought the questions would never end tonight. Here are some examples:
If a black man has sex with a white woman can he get HIV?
If a person with HIV is bitten by a mosquito can HIV be passed to a non-infected person like malaria is?
If a girl has sex with a boy with HIV and uses a condom, can she then pass the HIV onto the next person if she does not use a condom?
Can HIV be transmitted if both people are in the water during sex?
Can you get HIV from washing somebody's underwear if they were on their period during wearing them?
Can you get HIV if you get their blood in your mouth?
If I do not want to use a condom then what do I do?
I was so impressed with their questions. I remember my sex ed class where there was complete silence or where the teacher did not want to answer certain questions. I will answer anything without a slight bit of embarrassment, I think that is so important when talking to anyone about topics such as these. Even after the three hour lesson (I had planned about an hour for this!) the kids were still enthusiastic. They have said they want more classes and they are going to have their own little meeting in the morning for some discussions about future classes.
I am so pleased with how it went, especially when I was expecting a disaster! I am going to be taking this topic and spreading it all over the village. I think in the new year I would like to start some sort of testing campaign and encourage everyone to get tested! I am sure the nearest clinic will be not thrilled with me, I hope we blow through their supplies almost quicker than they can get them!
I'm sorry if this is not quite the sex talk you were expecting. Now go get tested for HIV!
No comments:
Post a Comment