I think the reason I now feel more adjusted to village life
is because of a few lessons learned.
1 Everything is dirty. No matter how many times I
wash it, or try to keep it clean it will never be clean. This especially
includes my feet and the inside of my elbows. I swear immediately after showering
there is dirt all over me. I have learned there is nothing I can do and I just
live with it.
2 Dishes fall into the above category. They are
not clean either. I am washing them in a bucket that sits in my house, with
water from a bucket that has been sitting there for some time as well. If the
dish looks relatively clean it is good enough for me.
3 This rule at first applied to cups and bottles
too. It no longer applies. After becoming ill I learned a very valuable lesson.
Only drink out of clean water bottles and only drink treated water! I now have
a bottle that filters water, so I can refill from boreholes on long walks! I
love it more than a crack addict loves his pipe. (I was going to say a fat kid
loves cake, but so overused. Sorry for the drug reference, I just read “A
Million Little Pieces” ironically enough when I was drinking similarly to an
alcoholic….I promise I am not a drug user or an alcoholic….people that drink
wine alone cannot be considered alcoholics right? They’re just classy.)
4 If I hear a noise in the dark, do not
investigate what it is. I will sleep much more soundly if I do not know the
scary ass monster bugs that are living in my house. I keep the can of doom next
to my bed just in case I need to murder a huge bug in the worst possible way; a
slow horribly painful death by chemicals that should never even be allowed
anywhere near humans. Speaking of which, I should put this can high out of
children’s reach before I have to have a much more depressing lessons learned
blog post.
5 The rules of the dark also apply to my toilet.
If it is dark, do not go in. Just pee in the yard, it is much safer. I do not
wish to see the tarantula (later confirmed dead, and still there, I like to
look at it now that it’s dead), weird scaly thing I hoped was a lizard, and the
biggest cockroaches that could possibly be on the planet.
6
Trying to dry clothes during the rainy season is
almost impossible. But leaving them on the line during the rain is probably the
closest they have had to a real wash in a long time. So it is good to wash
clothes on rainy days. Eventually they will dry.
7 When running past Khomera (where the clinic is
located) I will feel like a marathon pacer. Every time children run next to me
I love to sprint, just to remind them I am bigger and better than they are. I
think this is important lesson to teach children. While playing with them I do
not let them win, I instead beat them horribly and do a celebration that would
be illegal in the NFL. Life lessons; kid, you are going to lose often, and
someone will always be better than you, get over it. Anyway, running past
Khomera is good for interval training, and a self-esteem booster. I do not race
many people, but small children; game on!
8 I am becoming a Malawian. I saw Azungu (white
people today) I think I stared as much as the locals did. I have not yet
started shouting, “How are you?! Give me money!! Give me bottle!! Give me
sweetie!! Where are you going?! Where do you come from?!” Give it a few more
months I am sure I will be yelling at white people and chasing after cars, just
like the village kids.
9 Speaking of cars, apparently they are now more
exciting than I am to the kids in my village. I swear if this kid could speak
English he would have said, “Bitch move! I am trying to look at the car, not
your white ass.” They are so rude sometimes; don’t they realize how exciting I
really am?!
Being in a village in Malawi means people talk
about me. So far my reputation includes being a runner and a baby lover. I will
accept both of those titles. Because of seeing me with babies on my back people
now run up to me and shove their babies at me. They also shout, “Kendall!
Kendall! Baby!!” While holding their babies in the air for me to see. I am not
going to say I hate it.
Wear closed toe shoes. My solar panel did not
work one day due to rain, so my phone and laptop were dead. I decided to go see
the children catching bugs. I was warned about the bugs on the ground, they
will pinch. I thought whatever, not a big deal. Then I felt one on my foot. I
kicked in attempt to get it off. I thought I had successfully avoided the bug,
and then it latched on. I may have overreacted. One; I didn't expect it to be
so painful. Two: I did not expect it to stay attached to my foot. I threw my
lantern and started kicking and slapping at my foot frantically. Of course
everyone thought it was the funniest thing they have ever seen. I do not blame
them; I know I was a bit dramatic about the situation (but there was actually a
lot of blood for a bug bite! And I still have a mark!). Now my reputation
includes being afraid of bugs.
1 Walking on mud is similar to walking on ice.
Especially with flip-flops on. I had my first (certainly will not be my last)
fall the other day. I figure I am going to have some good core strength from
all of the balancing I have to do. Also it is important to allow extra travel
time when it is muddy. It takes about twice as long to get anywhere!
1 That cool camp shower I bought does not work. I
forget to account for the fact that the ceiling in my bathroom is very short,
therefore the water does not come out unless I squat (thank god nobody saw me
attempting to use it!). Also leaving it in the sun all day makes the water hot,
but it must also leak. So I have given up and am sticking with cold bucket
showers. I will have to start heating the water soon I think. It is already
pretty damn cold. Taking the shower as fast as I can is the key to getting
through.
1 Children think tampons are sweets or toys.
Seeing them run around with my used tampon applicators and wrappers is a bit
disturbing. It is important to quickly take them from the children and sternly
tell them no. Also it is important to watch what they are doing when they go
into my yard. Rummaging through my trash is also not acceptable.
I think that concludes my lessons learned. As you can tell I
never learn lessons the easy way. Maybe I will start taking more caution and
thinking some things through before I do them. Well that is a nice thought, but
it is never going to happen.
No comments:
Post a Comment